


Is This Actually Happening?

by StrawberrieMars



Category: Xiaolin Showdown (Cartoon)
Genre: Adventure, Gen, Humor, Self-Insert, i come up with self-insert stories where the character is aware of the self-insert/oc cliches, i'm dumb how do i tags, this is why you don't leave me alone to wait for you in a grocery store parking lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-28
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-27 19:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/982906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberrieMars/pseuds/StrawberrieMars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name’s Ellie. I’m eighteen years old and my favorite TV show is Xiaolin Showdown - trust me, that information’s going to come in handy for this story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That awkward moment when you're waiting for a ride home and your favorite show is suddenly real

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome readers! TO MY LAIR I mean- to my new fanfiction! It’s actually the first one I’ve published in a very long time, and I’m pretty excited about it.
> 
> I’m just going to tell you now, this story does contain a self-insert BUT hopefully not in the way you’d expect. Want to know why?
> 
> Well, you can either read the story to find out, or you can skip to my note at the end. I’m not gonna hate you or be too heartbroken if you decide to go with the latter or even just leave and move on to the next thing. I’m probably not making the best first impression anyways.
> 
> I’ve jabbered on long enough. On with the story for those who wish to read it!

Of all the places for a crazy adventure to start, you'd think it'd be somewhere a bit more scenic or exciting. A woods, the crosswalk of a busy New York intersection, even a school right?

Nope. For me, my crazy adventure started in the most unconventional place one can possibly think of: a Meijer parking lot.

My name is Ellie. I'm an eighteen-year-old girl with no clue where she wants to go in life, except that it better be an adventure and take place anywhere but home. Oh, and I should probably mention my favorite TV show is  _Xiaolin Showdown_  - trust me, that information's going to come in handy for this story a few paragraphs from now.

Speaking of which, I should get on with it, shouldn't I?

The day that my wish for an adventure came true was easily the shittiest day of my life. I lost my job, my car's struts finally gave up on me, and my relationship problems had reached lower than rock bottom. A very angry fifty-minute walk from my house to the store was in order, along with at least two pints of Chocolate Therapy ice cream and a whole case of berry lemonade Jones Soda. After spending the last bits of my final paycheck on junk, I called up my parents to pick me up so that I didn't have to worry about my ice cream melting before I got home.

Unfortunately for me that was going to be a moot point since when I called them, they were on the other side of town (and - spoilers! - I was about to have bigger problems to be concerned about than melted Ben & Jerry's).

Thus, our story officially begins with me sitting on the curb of one of the Meijer parking lot dividers, waiting for my parents to take me home so I could be miserable in private rather than in public.

Being eighteen, you would think that among the sources of my distress, losing my job and my car not working should've been what I was most upset about. Not me. The relationship turmoil is what hit the hardest. In fact, that's what's hit me the hardest for the past few years that I've had it. I'm probably not the best female role model if the balance of my emotions lies on the shoulders of a boy, but that is why I'm not the heroine of my story.

Oh, plot twist! And it's only the first chapter! Moving on...

With relationship troubles being at the front of my mind, I did what no girl should ever, ever do when she's thinking about her ex; I reread the messages he sent me from when we were dating. Each word tore at my heart more than the last, and when I reached the most current messages, I was fighting back tears. Sad as I was making myself, I hated crying in public. I didn't want anyone's sympathy. No, I wanted a punching bag and somewhere I could scream as loud as I wanted to while beating the shit out of it. Those were things that the average person probably isn't willing to provide to a stranger.

Then again, the person who could and eventually did provide those things for me wasn't an average person in the slightest.

Tired of my trip down memory lane, I stood and picked up my grocery bag, texting my parents that I was going to walk home anyways and if they caught up with me they could drive me the rest of the way.

The only warning I heard before being knocked over was a poorly-timed, "LOOK OUT". Upon impact, my phone went flying from my hand, followed by the much shorter-lived flight of a shopping cart.

"Ay girl, you came out of nowhere," a voice on top of me groaned as he stood, holding out his hand to help me do the same. "I'm sorry about that, though. Are you okay?"

I accepted the gesture, though winced when my palm stung from the contact. Once he pulled me up I let go to check my hands, finding that both were scraped and had dirt in the wounds. "I scraped my hands and they sting like hell," I finally said, smiling tiredly before adding, "but I'm alright. Are you-" I stopped when I looked up from my hands.

Staring back at me was either someone who held a highly uncanny resemblance to Raimundo Pedrosa from Xiaolin Showdown. From the green eyes, to the distinctly South American tan, it was almost as if I was standing in front of the real thing.

The Raimundo look-alike's eyes widened a little in concern as he gently brought my hands toward him, turning them up so he could see. "Ah, I'm sorry!" He looked away and called out, "Hey, Kimiko! Do you have a water bottle on you?"

' _Kimiko?_ ' I followed his gaze to see...

The whole Xiaolin Dragon ensemble. At least a group of three kids who looked just as much like them as the look-alike Raimundo looked like their leader.

If my math is correct, the chances that four friends hanging out together who happen to share names with the protagonists of my favorite show are slim enough, but the chances that they also  _look_  like them? Next to absolutely nothing.

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. My feelings actually shared a border with complete and utter terror that I hit my head and was now undergoing one of those "it's all in the main character's head" scenarios, and a little bit starstruck to be honest. Though the fear won out in the end and left me stunned.

At least until my hands started stinging again. I snapped back to what I hoped was reality and noticed Raimundo pouring water onto my hands as Kimiko searched through a panda-shaped backpack for something. I hissed, tugging my hands away instinctively, but he held them firmly, probably expecting me to do that. After a moment, Kimiko pulled out a packet of tissues and Raimundo used one to wipe up the mess on my hands, which again made me flinch, though this time I said "shit!" a bit too loud for a public space. I looked away from their work, mildly grossed out by how much blood kept surfacing, instead watching Clay right the cart that crashed into me and Omi picking up something a few feet further from it. My shoulders slumped as the little monk came rushing back, carrying what I was worried would be a shattered phone. My attention was brought back to my hands when I felt them being handed to Kimiko as she wrapped them with bandages, Raimundo leaving to throw out the tissues and empty water bottle.

"This should keep them clean at least until you can put antiseptic on them," she said, finishing off one hand and bandaging the next. "Sorry about Raimundo. He was trying to show our friend Omi how to ride a shopping cart."

"Not very well, it seems," I said, receiving a short laugh in response. "It's fine, really. I'm just scraped up a little, that's all." I looked back to where Omi had found my phone and sank further. "Though now I have to go home without ice cream and soda."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, ma'am" Clay said, returning with the cart and one of the pints of ice cream, luckily with little damage to it.

He handed it to me and I eagerly accepted, sighing at the cold carton against my stinging hands. "Thanks. Good thing, too since I don't have money on me to buy more."

Omi held out my phone. "Are you alright? The fall you took looked most unpleasant."

I nodded and said, "I'm okay, now that I have ice cream to help soothe the pain a bit more." I took my phone from him and let out a sigh, relieved to find that the case had absorbed the impact, though barely survived. It was a good thing I had more at home, and that the text I sent my parents went through in spite of it all.

After pocketing my phone I smiled, unsure of what else to do and that maybe the whole Xiaolin Dragon look-alike thing really was a slim-to-none coincidence. "I should head home now and clean myself up the rest of the way. Thanks a bunch."

"No problem," Raimundo said, giving me a thumbs up. "Good to know you're okay."

"Do you live nearby?" Kimiko asked. "Maybe we should walk home with you?"

"Eh," I shrugged. "Sort of. It's about an hour-long walk by foot, but my parents are on their way home so they'll pick me up on the way. I'll be alright, though." I held up the ice cream and grinned. "I have a blunt object to throw and a phone to call the po-po with if I run into trouble." I turned and waved goodbye as I started walking. "Thanks anyways!"

This is the part where I go home, remember why I bought the ice cream, and then drown my sorrows in it while I sit on the basement floor watching  _Top Gear_  on BBC America.

Just kidding: it's the part where I am stopped by the heroes and they insist on giving me a ride home on their dragon. And by "insist", I mean the events that followed forced their hand and, unfortunately, mine.

I only took a few steps before Omi said "wait!" and ran out in front of me. "I am sorry to further delay your journey home, but you wouldn't have happened to see a dragon-shaped ring anywhere?"

"Uhm..." I unlocked my phone and searched through my photos. After finding one of a dragon ring I happened to own, I showed it to him. "Does it happen to look like this?"

His eyes lit up. "Yes! That's it!" At that, the other members rushed to either side of him to see the picture. He continued, "Where did you find it?"

"Antique fair." I looked down at the picture, running my thumb over the screen. "I've had it for a few years, actually. Since uhm... ninth grade?"

The four exchanged glances, Raimundo speaking up first. "Would you be willing to show it to us?"

I cocked one eyebrow, suspicious. "It's at my house. Any particular reason you need to see it?"

The sound of tires screeching stopped them from answering. I turned my head to the source of the sound. A shiny black convertible was waiting on the other end of the parking lot, revving its engine. A spoiler fin and bronze racing stripes adorned the vehicle, which drew as much attention toward it as its engine did.

There were three things that crossed my mind at that moment. The first thing was, ' _holy shit that's a Bugatti_ '. Secondly, ' _why are you showing that off in the middle of a grocery store parking lot_ '. And finally, ' _why the_  hell  _would you put racing stripes on a Bugatti, you_  asshat'.

Kimiko's eyes widened. "Is that...?"

"Expensive, decked out, showing off?" Raimundo's lip curled. "Who else could it possibly be?"

I took a small step back, a "no way" slipping from under my breath.

Slowly, the car rolled up to us, the engine purring loudly the whole way. When it stopped, the driver's-side window rolled down and Jack Spicer leaned his head out. "Hey losers. Like my new wheels?"

My idol - the evil genius I had been a fangirl of since seventh grade - was right in front of me. Or I hoped so, since in the back of my mind the whole situation up to that point had seemed far too good to be a dream. Jack Spicer only made it seem less real, given my massive crush on him.

My ice cream slipped from my hand and landed with a dull  _thud_ , very similar to how I thought my jaw sounded when it dropped.

"Beat it, Jack," Kimiko snapped.

"Chill out," Jack said, holding up one hand defensively. "I'm not here to fight you, or your cute new friend." He shot me a grin and I felt my cheeks burn up. The first coherent thought that came to mind was, to my shame, ' _knees weak, arms spaghetti_ '. It was all I could do not to squeal.

"Then move on out of here," Clay said, stepping forward and urging me behind him. "Go on about your own evil business elsewhere."

Jack rolled his eyes. "I'm done here anyways. I just had to pick up some stuff for my parents."

"What?!"

I quickly put a hand over my mouth after shouting. The group gave me a collective look I can only describe as "dafuq?". I cleared my throat and said, "I mean, you live nearby?"

He shook his head. "I'm visiting. Trust me, I didn't want to, but my folks wouldn't take no for an answer." He grinned cheekily. "Why? You wanna ditch these guys and hang out with me? I might not be back in town anytime soon."

My blush returned with a vengeance and I averted my gaze. I decided not to say anything just in case this  _wasn't_  all a dream. I was likely to either embarrass myself or make Kimiko cringe further, given she looked disgusted enough by Jack's flirting.

Raimundo cleared his throat. "So, you're just... visiting?"

Jack frowned. "Believe it or not, I do have at least  _somewhat_  of a life outside of trying to conquer the world. Why?" His eyes widened as he looked at his dashboard. "Don't tell me my detector's not working again..."

Omi shook his head. "We are not looking for a Shen Gong Wu. There -"

Kimiko quickly clapped a hand over the monk's mouth. "- was a chance to meet up with my pen pal! Who's  _not interested_ , by the way." She looked at me. "Right?"

I blinked a few times and nodded, my shoulders sagging a bit at the 'not interested part'. "Oh uhm... Right." In spite of Kimiko's statement, I gave Jack a sheepish wave. "Sorry."

Jack didn't look too convinced. A little annoyed, maybe, but he shrugged all the same. "Whatever, losers. I gotta get home before the milk spoils." He pulled down his goggles and shifted his car into gear. "Later haters!"

With that, he sped off, tires screaming behind him. I stood there for a few moments, my hand still raised. All too soon, though, Clay took hold of it and guided me away. "Come on li'l lady. We should get you home before Spicer turns around."

"Right," Rai said, leading us around the backside of the store. "Dojo can get us there faster than you can walk."

Oh, duh. I forgot about Dojo. The dragon in question slid out from underneath Clay's hat, gasping for air. "That's the last time you guys have me stay under there for that long!"

This time, I did squeal. Not so much a fangirl one so much as an "oh my god don't let this be a dream". To the others though, it was probably mistaken for "it talks".

Dojo sighed and shook his head, looking unimpressed as he jumped down from his perch. "Yeah, that's usually how they react."

"Which is why you had to stay hidden," Kimiko said.

I crouched down to Dojo's level, hesitantly reaching out a finger and poking his belly. He snorted and slithered back a bit. "Hey, don't touch there - that's my tickle spot!"

"Oh my god," I leaned a little closer, unable to stop the grin. "Holy hell, you're real!" I looked up, pushing myself up from the ground. "All of you! This is actually happening to me... wait, no I can't say that yet." I quickly turned to Raimundo. "Pinch me. I gotta make sure this isn't a dream."

Although he looked at me like I had sprouted a second head, he reached out and pinched my arm - hard. I flinched away and rubbed the spot, then my grin grew wider. "OH MY GOD!"

"Wait, what did you mean by 'all of us'?" Rai asked, though Omi held up a hand before I could answer.

"There is no time for chat-chit," Omi said. "We must get our friend home before Spicer sees through our fibbing!"

Although he still looked confused, Raimundo nodded. "Right. Where do you live?"

I had to take a few breaths to contain my excitement, though I was unable to stop shaking as I pointed in the general direction of my house. "Left on the intersection, then right into the first neighborhood street. It's like two minutes by car."

Dojo glared over his shoulder at the Shoku leader. "You're really going to have me fly for not even a few seconds just to get her home?"

"Please, Dojo," Omi said, clasping his hands together. "We would not ask you of this if it wasn't of great importance. She has the ring!"

Dojo turned back to me, now looking just as confused as Raimundo had. "Really?" He slithered up to me, stroking his little dragon beard with his claw. "Huh. She looks a little different than what I remember..."

"Dojo!"

"All right, all right."

Seeing the three-foot gecko Dojo shift into the thirty-foot Shenron Dojo on TV was one thing, especially since they were all from a cartoon show. Seeing it in real life was probably the single coolest thing that I could ever imagine having the chance to see.

Which then begged the question...

"Don't you think it'll be kind of... alarming for other people to see this?" I asked, watching as the monks climbed on. I had always wondered if they ever thought about that in the series, or if anyone else had before writing fanfiction.

They all glanced at each other before shrugged, Kimiko saying, "It's never bothered anyone before, really."

"No wait." I shook my head, replaying that answer in my head. "You're telling me, that somehow, unless it was convenient to the plot, that people have never noticed you guys taking off on a giant, flying dragon?"

"People have probably noticed," Raimundo said with a shrug. "It's not like they can actually do anything about it, except run to the tabloids."

I puffed out my cheeks a little, but said nothing and instead tried to climb aboard the Dojo Express.

"So does our newbie have a name?" Dojo asked once I managed to pull myself up.

"Ellie."

"All right, Ellie." Dojo looked over his shoulder, smiling. "You ever ride a roller coaster?"

"Just once, but I'm not really -"

Dojo took off before I could finish, leaving me screaming and holding on for dear life. The angle he shot up at was so steep I slid backwards into Clay. Shortly after taking off, Dojo levelled out, and I scooted forward a little, shaking.

"Ah, I miss that," Dojo said with a smug grin. "We haven't had a new rider who panics like that in a long time."

"I think my brains have gone into my feet," was my only reply.

Thus, my adventure began. Little did I know at the time how short-lived it would be.


	2. I'm a terrible liar but apparently good enough to fool four heroes who deal with liars on a semi-daily basis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I forgot to put a disclaimer in my last chapter. I should probably do that from now on.
> 
> [ahem] Disclaimer: Xiaolin Showdown, the Shen Gong Wu, and all its characters is copyright Christy Hui and Warner Brothers Animation. I do not make money off of this story in any way, shape, or form.

The trip to my house really did only last for about thirty seconds, not leaving me much time to tell Dojo which house to stop at. Short as it was, I still felt a bit queasy from the ordeal. I wasn't sure if it was the fact that Dojo had been flying so fast that I felt like my eyes shifted to the sides of my face, or if it was the very steep and very abrupt landing in my backyard that brought my brains from my feet and back into my head. Thank goodness no one was home and my closest neighbor had been moved to a nursing home.

Once we landed, I shakily slid off from the dragon's back, wobbling a bit as I lead the monks to the garage door. As I fumbled with the keypad, I could hear my dog making a fuss near the back door, probably having heard Dojo land and wondering what the hell it was. However, the sound stopped once the garage door began to open.

"You guys might want to hang back for a bit," I said, ducking under the door when I had room to. "I need to make sure Strider doesn't knock you over before you've come inside."

"Got it," Raimundo said, he and the other monks staying a few steps behind me.

Shortly after, whining was heard from the other side of the door. With a deep breath, I opened the door and slipped inside, quickly shutting it before my German Shepherd could shove his way past me to the newcomers he had heard. I fought with the seventy-pound beast for a few moments to drag him away from the door, before deciding to bribe him with treats and making him sit in the family room.

"Stay," I ordered, and Strider did as he was told when I opened the door again and allowed the monks inside. They filed in quickly and I shut the door behind them, throwing Strider his treat. "Once he finishes that he'll be all over you guys. Don't worry, he hasn't bitten anyone before."

"What's his name again?" Kimiko asked.

"Strider. As in Lord of the Rings." I shrugged and pat his head. "He's a big baby, though; not exactly King of Gondor material." I headed toward the hallway. "Gather wherever you guys want to. Just don't break anything or hurt the dog."

I felt a little awkward leaving four supposedly fictional people alone in my house. It was so surreal; easily the weirdest thing to happen to me. It was exciting, though.

At least until I got to my room and remembered why I had left my ring there in the first place. I picked it up from its spot on the shelf and sighed, turning it over in my hands to inspect the crack along its band, so close to another that had been sealed by a different type of metal than the rest of the ring, and its numerous areas of tarnish. This didn't really look quite as shiny as the other Shen Gong Wu on the show. Plus, it wasn't the only one out there, given I had tried to get a replacement off of eBay and stumbled upon one almost exactly like it. When I remembered that, I started to wonder if maybe I had a replica of something that was really a mystical object, and that they had been mistaken.

Which would really suck, but it was fun while it all lasted.

I curled my fingers around the ring and brought it downstairs, finding the four warriors sitting in my living room with Strider, who was happily sniffing away at Clay's lap while the cowboy pet him. He, Kimiko, and Omi sat together on the couch, while Raimundo occupied one of the recliners. I sat in the other, at the opposite end of the couch. "Uhm. Just so you know before I show it to you, there's a couple cracks in the band. It's wearable, but you might want to mend it a bit."

"Cracked?" Dojo asked, curled around Omi's head. "How'd that happen?"

I smiled and scratched the back of my head. "I wore it a lot. Just about every day for three years. One of the cracks was sealed up, but then another formed and I decided it was time to retire it." I set it down on the table, though hesitated to let go.

A silence fell among us, the only sound being Strider's curious sniffs aimed toward Dojo. The dragon climbed off of Omi's head and onto the table, examining the ring more closely.

As Dojo turned the ring over in his claws, his brows furrowed. "It may just be the condition it's in, but I don't feel as strong of a pull as I normally should."

Omi's shoulders fell. "Does that mean she's not who we're looking for?"

Dojo shifted the ring from one hand to the other. "Huh. You know I'm not exactly sure. There is definitely  _something_  coming from this, but now that we're so close to it, for some reason it's faded."

"Like a lost cell phone signal," Kimiko said, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Of course the one with all the tech on the heroes' side would be the one to make that connection.

"Right." Dojo held out the ring to me. "Try wearing it."

With a shrug, I slid the ring onto my middle finger, not expecting it to change anything.

A warm feeling suddenly began to pulse through my hand, making me jump. Dojo did as well and the others began to look hopeful, but after a few moments, the feeling slowed, and then stopped.

"Trippy," I muttered, wiggling my fingers. "It's never done that before."

"Hm." Dojo brought a claw to his chin. "Maybe the crack in it is making the power fluctuate. We could have someone fix it when we get back to the temple, see if that does anything."

I almost told him about the one I found on eBay, but stopped myself when he said "we". "Does... that mean I can go with you?"

"Perhaps we should consult with Master Fung first," Omi suggested. "Kimiko has his telephone number - we should ring him out."

A pause, then I tried my hand at guessing - although it should have been obvious. "Ring him up?"

Just then, the door to the front hallway opened, and I jumped up. "Ellie?" my dad's voice called. "You home?"

"Shit!" I ran around the counter, nearly tripping over Strider as he ran with me to greet my parents. "I'm sorry! I got a ride home from friends and forgot to tell you."

Dad stopped fussing with the dog for a moment to give me a hug. "That's okay, honey. I wish you told us you were going to the store in the first place, though."

"Sorry," I apologized again. "Oh uhm. My friends are still here if you want to meet them? They weren't going to stay long - we just got home, I promise."

He sighed and dropped his hands to his sides. "Just for a minute though; your mom and I are going back out."

"Oh?" I turned to my stepmom, who was still fussing with the dog to keep him from jumping up on her. "Where to?"

"We have dinner reservations," she said between snaps of "down!" at Strider.

I sucked in my lower lip. "Uhm. Do you guys have time to talk about a, uhm..."

"Education opportunity?" an old man's voice finished for me.

* * *

My parents sat at the dining room table, Kimiko's phone propped up on a stand while they FaceTimed with Master Fung on the other end. The rest of us sat in the living room, me fidgeting nervously and trying not to play with my ring while the old master came up with a reason for me to leave home for awhile. I doubted my parents would be so willing to accept the idea, especially when it was so last-minute, but it was worth a shot. If they didn't, I'd probably have to sneak out. Either way, I would be leaving here for an undetermined amount of time.

"So, Ellie," Raimundo spoke up, making me jump for the second time in five minutes. "Earlier, when you met Dojo, you said something about all of us being real." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "What did you mean by that?"

I froze, searching my mind for an answer to that question. "Well..." I sighed and hung my head. "Do you want the total bullshit answer that anyone else would probably give, or the truth that you are much less likely to believe? Or there's the third option that's a bit of both."

"I'm sure we can handle the truth," Clay said.

"Yeah," Kimiko added with a laugh, "we've pretty much seen it all. It'd have to be pretty wild for us not to believe it."

I looked at each of their faces, taking a moment to debate whether or not I should bait-and-switch and just tell them I'm psychic or that I found them on the internet. Even if I did tell them the truth, what were the chances that they'd actually believe it, in spite of what they said?

'Time to improvise,' I thought and took a deep breath.

"You're not really... supposed to exist."

My answer got the response I had expected it to: confused silence. I scratched my neck and continued. "There was a video, way back, of you guys in New York. Someone apparently saw, uh... Dojo, all big and stuff, and whipped out a video camera. The footage is really shaky and pretty piss quality, but it's enough to see you guys taking off and flying away."

"Can you show us?" Rai asked.

I shook my head. "I can't even begin to tell you where to look. It was a huge topic of discussion on the forums I visited at the time, given that was the first place it was posted. Unfortunately it didn't spread much further than there and the site was actually shut down a few months later. I hoped maybe the original poster had put it up on YouTube after that, but I haven't been able to find it since."

Omi's eyes lit up and he straightened a little. "What did everyone say about us?"

"Well, uhm..." I scratched my cheek and let out a nervous laugh. "At first, people were excited by it. Like, wow! Proof that there's dragons! But I guess that was just the initial 'this is cool and obviously not real but I'm going to get hyped anyways' response. After a couple of days, the hype calmed down and everyone started picking it apart. What was the video  _really_  and all that." I shrugged and leaned back in the chair. "Most everyone went with the theory that it was a gimmick to start one of those AR games that movie adverts use to get everyone psyched for the film. But given it was posted on such a small part of the internet, and that there was no website to go to at the end to find out more, that idea was jossed. After a couple of weeks of probably the most over-analyzing of a few seconds of video before BBC Sherlock's main ship took the trophy, the general consensus was a that it was a part to a student film project."

"But how did they explain Dojo?" Clay asked, petting Strider's head as he placed it in the Texan's lap.

I shrugged again. "CGI so good that the person who supposedly fabricated the video probably secretly worked with Peter Jackson." I grinned. "Which I now know for a fact is not true; you look way more real than Smaug does."

Then a thought struck me harder than the Fist of Tebigong: since I had met the main cast of Xiaolin Showdown's first season, with the exception of Wuya, there were still the main characters of the other two seasons I had yet to meet.

More specifically, the other main villains.

I guess I was going to realize at some point that Chase Young was real, too. I just wished it had happened when I wasn't sitting in my living room with the good guys.

I'll admit it: I gasped really loud and flailed around in my chair a bit at the thought. I quickly covered my face afterwards though to prevent further embarrassment.

Omi jumped up. "Are you alright? Is the ring reacting again?"

I peeked at him between my fingers and shook my head, squeaking out a "nope!" before slowly relaxing, suppressing the weird shudder that normally followed my little "epiphany" attacks, as I like to call them. I cleared my throat and shook my head again. "No, no, I'm fine." I waved one hand and forced a smile. "I just get these dumb shivers every now and then and they catch me off guard sometimes."

They exchanged glances - something they apparently do a lot, or maybe I just made them uncomfortable - before Clay shrugged and said to Raimundo, "Her explanation about us is as good as any."

Rai nodded and grinned at me. "Yeah, I was expecting you to say you were psychic or something."

I laughed uneasily. "Right. Psychic."

Lucky for me, my dad entered the room at that moment, saving me from making my impression on the monks any worse than it probably already was. He thanked Kimiko for letting him and my stepmom borrow her phone as he handed it back to her, before moving to stand by my chair. He brought his hands up for a moment only to bring them back down, his usual "I dunno what to tell you" gesture, before finally speaking.

"It's really last-minute, you know."

I nodded, and my heart sank. "Yeah... I understand if I can't go."

"Well, just wait a second," my stepmom said as she entered. "We haven't said that yet."

I sat up. "So I can go?"

"We haven't said that yet, either," Dad said.

My stepmom looked toward the others. "We have a few conditions." She paused for a moment when her eyes landed on Dojo, but she glanced at my dad for a moment before continuing. "How often do you go on your... expeditions?"

"At least once a week," Kimiko answered. "We always stick together on them, if that's what you're worried about."

My stepmom looked toward Dad, who nodded, and she continued. "And she doesn't need to pay for them?"

Rai shook his head. "It's all included." In the back of my mind, I wondered if they had gone through the whole "education opportunity" way back when they first became monks at the temple, and had been taught the routine just in case something like this would happen.

A short silence settled among us, my parents looking at each other during it. Eventually I cleared my throat. "So, uh... Can I go?"

My dad sighed and pat my shoulder. "You'll need to call us when you can. E-mail if you can't."

I cheered and jumped up, hugging my dad tight. "THANK YOU SO, SO, SO MUCH! YOU'RE THE BEST DAD  _EVER_!"

He chuckled and hugged me back. "Yeah, yeah, only when you want something right?"

My stepmom leaned toward the monks and snarked, "She's not spoiled at all."

I smiled at her over my shoulder. "Ohhh, no; first time I'm gonna disagree with you on that one." I let go of my dad and darted upstairs to pack, high-fiving Raimundo as I passed.

* * *

**OBLIGATORY CHASE YOUNG END-OF-CHAPTER SCENE THAT SWITCHES TO THIRD PERSON!**

A lion slipped through the corridors of the citadel on silent paws, having been summoned by his master. Not directly, but given the faint tension emanation from his fellow warrior cats, Tiānkōng knew he would be called for eventually.

He quietly entered the dining room and sat beside its only occupant, Chase Young.

The immortal man scratched behind the lion's ears without so much as a glance, lifting a ceramic bowl in the other hand. "Any particular reason you came to see me?" Chase asked.

Tiānkōng took one step away and shifted into human form. "Something preoccupies you, Sir. The others have taken notice and are... concerned."

"Oh?" Chase raised an eyebrow and brought the bowl to his lips, taking a drink before continuing. "And are you concerned?"

"Somewhat," he responded. "I thought you would wish to confide in me, or perhaps there's anything you would like to inform me of?"

Chase paused before saying, "Just an odd feeling, that's all. Something that may require my involvement in the future, but otherwise is unimportant at this time." He sipped at the bowl's contents again. "Believe it or not, I don't exactly have time or energy to waste on every little shiver that creeps up my spine."

"Chase Young? Shiver?" Tiānkōng's mouth quirked at the thought. "How unlike you."

Again, Chase paused, slowly setting down the bowl as the former assassin shifted back into cat form and left. He stared across the table in thought for a moment before downing the rest of his soup.

' _How unlike me, indeed._ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I’d like to give a HUUUUGE THANK YOU to everyone who’s kudos'd and viewed! I’ll try to keep my updates semi-regular, and hopefully there won’t be any real-life surprises that’ll keep me away from writing (at least not anytime soon).
> 
> So! This chapter actually took a little longer to finish than I would’ve liked, but the last little bit was giving me some trouble. I was debating whether or not to write a little goodbye scene with the parents, or to leave it as it was and just run upstairs. But THEN I thought, “How many times have I read a fanfic with a Chase Young scene in there at the end of a chapter?” Sooo, I wrote that and debated if I should include it or not. I was just going to post it on tumblr as a shits-n-gigs scene, but at the last minute I decided to put it in.
> 
> Also true story about that ring. I was so pissed when someone outbid me on eBay for it.
> 
> Thanks again for all the kudos! Next chapter we head to the temple... or at least until we need to make an unexpected pit stop.


	3. Hello this is your pilot speaking - we have to make a pit stop to pick up a fancy-schmancy doo-hickey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I’m a big fat douchenozzle and didn’t write anything for about a year. I’m going to apologize a thousand times over for it and it still won’t be enough, especially because I don’t really have an explanation for it other than I had a lot of personal issues come up.
> 
> BUT I DO INTEND TO KEEP WRITING THIS! Especially now that the personal crap’s gone, and I’m feeling much better than I ever have. The main thing that got me writing again was I actually wrote out the entire plot-twist chapter (well, what’s turning out to be ~one~ plot twist, anyways), and I got a little carried away and wrote another chapter and a half that happen right after. Oops. But it’s better than nothing!
> 
> Disclaimer: Xiaolin Showdown, the Shen Gong Wu, and all its characters is copyright Christy Hui and Warner Brothers Animation. I do not make money off of this story in any way, shape, or form.

Goodbyes were never my strong point. I’m not sure if they are for anyone, really, because goodbyes always suck when part of you just isn’t quite ready to let go yet.

That’s why once I had my bags packed and we were all standing in the driveway, I tried to keep my farewell as short as possible.

“You have your phone?” my dad asked for the third time.

I held it up to show him. “Yes, and my charger, and my laptop and its charger.”

Unfortunately, my dad was not a master of short goodbyes, either. Funny, considering half the time when he or my stepmom were on the phone, all they would want to do is rush through and get to the point of the call, and then hang up.

He put a hand on my shoulder, looking me dead in the eye. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Have you ever seen me pack up this much junk in such a short time?”

My stepmom snorted at that and pat my dad’s shoulder. “She has a point. And we have a dinner to get to.”

He held his gaze steadily for a moment longer before pulling me into a hug. “Just promise me that you won’t do anything you are uncomfortable doing, okay?”

“And call us!” my stepmom added, joining the hug as well. “You can always ask to come home if you need to.”

My vision blurred for a moment as a few tears trailed down my cheeks, quickly prompting me to bury my face into my parents shoulders. “Thanks.”

They then climbed into their car and drove off, waving out the windows and shouting “love you!” on their way.

Once they were out of sight, I felt Clay’s hand land on my shoulder, making me jump a little. “Don’t you worry; chances are we’ll be back here faster than a flea latches onto a dirty dog’s behind.”

I slowly turned my head to him, one eyebrow raised though trying to suppress a grin. “Oookay?”

“It’s okay kid,” Dojo said from atop Clay’s hat, shrugging his shoulders. “You’ll get used to the down-home sayings and Omi’s phrasing, I promise.” Jumping off and growing to his full size, Omi shrunk my suitcases with the Changing Chopsticks and handed them to me. I couldn’t help but take a moment and make high-pitched cooing sounds at the tiny luggage before slipping them into my pocket as we all climbed aboard Dojo and set off.

Once the soul-crushing terror of the steep takeoff wore off for the second time, I shakily pushed up from clinging desperately to Dojo’s scales, and forced myself to open my eyes. Kimiko was smiling back at me, her ponytail whipping in the wind much in the same way Dojo’s body was moving. “Take it all in now, Ellie - you’ll get used to this feeling, too.”

I smiled back, doing my best to hold on while slowly sitting up a little further. It was hard to really take her advice, however, considering my stomach kept flipping with every undulation and making me feel like I was riding a roller coaster - which I rarely even did. The thought suddenly made my stomach churn as I brought my arms in a little closer, instinct telling me to cling to the dragon’s back tighter to make up for the lack of safety bar.

I needed to get my mind off of it. “So what’s so important about this ring?”

“We actually don’t know,” said Raimundo behind me, shrugging his shoulders. “Dojo was sensing something that wasn’t a Shen Gong Wu, and we didn’t have time to take the scroll with us that explained what the ring was. It doesn’t really have much of a name, either.”

“All I can remember,” Dojo interjected, “is that this ring has something connected to a person known only as Avareth the Destroyer.”

“And what do we know about them?” I asked.

“Not much,” Clay said from behind Raimundo. “Dojo told us on the way to finding you that he was some kind of sorcerer who lived two-thousand years ago.”

Omi turned completely around from his position at the front, riding backwards as if it was nothing. “We would know more if the situation had not been so dire to find the ring before evil could. It is most lucky that you have it.”

“Yeah, can you imagine if Chase or Jack got to her first?” Raimundo pat my shoulder. “Though you don’t seem the type to be tempted by those kind of people.”

“Oh, uh, right!” Inside I was screaming ‘ _oh shit THEY’RE ON TO ME!_ ’ but before I could change the subject, Dojo began shaking.

“Heads-up, kids - we gotta make a quick detour for a Wu!” Dojo shouted as he shifted directions. It took me a minute to relax again, having immediately clung on to his back for dear life and squeezed my eyes shut.

“Really?” Kimiko asked, pulling a familiar scroll from her backpack. “When was the last time we had two hunts in one day?”

“A month, at least,” Clay said, as everyone scoot closer to see the scroll. “Wait, did we ever explain to Ellie what Shen Gong Wu were?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head as I lied through my teeth, “I mean, I have a general idea that they’re things like those chopsticks, right?”

Kimiko nodded. “Yeah, pretty much. They can be anything, and all of them do specific things.”

“It’s actually pretty lucky that we’re going to go find one right now,” Raimundo said. “Saves us a whole lot of explaining and you get to learn by watching.”

I cocked my head and looked back at him. “Don’t you mean ‘learn by doing’?”

“Well,” Clay started, “we probably don’t want to start you on using them until you’ve learned more about them. That way you’re not going in blind like we kind of did when we started.”

“ _Anyways_ , can someone read what the scroll says?” Dojo said over his shoulder. “So we don’t have to waste time figuring it out when we’re there?”

We redirected our attention to the scroll, the words “Maio’s Brush” beneath the picture. I couldn’t stop the soft “wow” that came out as the picture moved on the page. It first showed just a silhouette of a paintbrush, before warping into the generic person, who held the brush and had a painting easel in front of them. They painted a butterfly, which then lifted off the canvas and fluttered away.

“Ooooh I’ve heard about Maio’s Brush before!” Omi leaned over the scroll, grinning wide. “Making whatever you paint come to life would indeed be a most useful skill.”

“Especially if you’re a good artist,” I added, smiling a little before frowning again when I thought, ‘ _Noodle-armed weeaboo style drawings would not an impressive army make._ ’

“Even if you aren’t it’s useful,” Dojo said. “Dashi could craft things okay, but when it came to actual paper and brush, he was terrible at it. He made the brush keeping in mind that not everyone is a good artist, so if you wanted to make a monster, you’re limit would be how many teeth you can paint on it compared to others, and not how good it looked.” He shrugged. “For once style wasn’t at the front of his mind when Dashi made this one.”

Feigning ignorance I asked, “So how do these hunts usually go?”

Raimundo answered, “Well, Dojo senses a Shen Gong Wu, and takes us to the general area of where we’ll find it. Usually we have to fight off Jack Spicer - the creepy kid back at the store, or the Heylin witch Wuya, or much more rarely, Chase Young.” He waved a hand dismissively. “We’ll get to him later depending on if we run into him or not today, but I doubt he’ll be interested in a paintbrush.”

“Sometimes this little bean named Hannibal shows up,” Kimiko input. “He can be a pain to fight against too because he practically hoards a shape-shifting Wu and makes himself big enough to fight, or he has his human-sized armor.”

“He probably won’t show either,” Clay said. “Unless he’s just spectating. Lately though, because Jack’s all we have to go up against, we can just grab the Wu and go.”

I nodded. “So picking up this thing will be easy-peasey, then?”

“Well, maybe.” Dojo scratched his neck. “This itch is telling me that it’s currently out in Italy, but I remember hiding it somewhere else... Not really sure _where_ , but I know for a fact it wasn’t Italy.”

I rolled my eyes. “Great, if it’s there, what would you say the chances are that it’s in some heavily guarded display case in a museum?”

* * *

 

It was. In fact, the museum listed it as a highlight in their "Lost Works of Leonardo da Vinci” exhibition, stating Maio’s Brush to be one of his most treasured and highly used paintbrushes.

“Well, it could be worse,” Dojo said with a shrug. “It could’ve been put in some souvenir bin with a zillion other paintbrushes.”

“Actually, I’d prefer that.” Kimiko inclined her head towards one of the security guards. “At least then we could just sift through, hope we get to it first, and just buy it instead of oh, I don’t know, _breaking the law_.”

“I don’t really see any harm in just letting them keep it,” Clay said. “We’ve lasted without the Wings of Tenabi and the Hodoku Mouse, so what’s one more Wu?”

“We _barely_ lasted without the Hodoku Mouse.” Raimundo shook his head. “And you’re forgetting something: Jack Spicer would have no problems with breaking the law.”

“He would take our hesitation as an advantage,” Omi mused, looking away and bringing his hand to his chin. “Perhaps we could speak with the museum owners?”

“Yeah, and say what?” I rolled my eyes. “‘Hey, that paintbrush didn’t _actually_ belong to Leonardo da Vinci - it’s actually an ancient Chinese artifact with mystical powers! So if you don’t mind, we’d like to have it and be on our way.’ We’ll have security escorting us out, if not a couple of guys with special white coats for us.”

The weird stares from the rest of the group pretty much spoke for itself. I shrank back a little and shrugged. “Sorry, but am I wrong?”

“Well... no.” Clay scratched the back of his head. “You did make a point, it’s just never been put like that before.”

We stared at the display for a few minutes longer, watching the people pass by it, oblivious to its real origin. A voice came on over the P.A. system, first speaking in Italian, then translating into English that the museum would soon be closing.

I jumped about a foot when Raimundo suddenly shouted, “Wait! I’ve got an idea!” He leaned in, gesturing for us to huddle around him. “Tempting as it is to just take the Wu right here and now, that’s a lot easier said than done. But,” he leaned in, “what if we waited for Jack Spicer to take it?”

“And then take it from him?” Kimiko grinned and nodded. “Any chance to beat up Spicer and I’m game.”

“But won’t it still be illegal?” Clay asked. “I mean, even if Jack steals it first, we’d be stealing it from him, so technically in the end we’d still be stealing it from the museum.”

I jumped in, “Except we’d be somewhat better off since we won’t be the ones breaking and entering to steal it.”

“Exactly.” Raimundo gestured to security. “In fact, we’ll already be inside. It’d be believable enough if we warn the guards about a thief who’s into these kinds of things, someone we’ve been chasing for years and now can beat him to the punch. We can ask them to let us four patrol while Ellie stays in the surveillance room.”

“Aw, I can’t patrol too?”

Raimundo shook his head. “Since you’re new and we now know for sure where the Wu is, it’ll be better if you stay out this round. It’s like we told you earlier, we don’t want to risk getting you into anything you’re not fully prepared for, y’know? Even if it’s against a level-one enemy like Jack Spicer.” He smiled. “Plus, with you watching all the camera feeds, you’ll probably see Jack before we do and can tell us where to find him over the speaker system.” Raimundo put out his hand in the center. “Come on guys, it’s either this, or we steal it ourselves.”

A pause, then Kimiko put her hand in. “I’m game.”

Clay shrugged and put in his hand over hers. “Might as well.”

Omi followed. “Let’s once again provide Jack Spicer with a humiliating defeat!”

I stared down at the hand pile for a moment. “Well, I can’t back out now.” I smacked my hand down on Omi’s. “Let’s do it.”

* * *

 

Much to my sort-of surprise, the security guards bought our story, at least once we were able to get the museum curator-and-owner to help us translate. Once the doors were locked, the monks were allowed to patrol, while I was shown the surveillance room, where one other guard would be with me for the night.

Being assigned to watch the monitors was only fascinating for the first thirty minutes or so. I started out pretending I was Barbara Gordon as Oracle, just so I could have a little fun with it, but then I just kept reaching for a non-existent remote hoping to change the channel. Several times I nearly got caught up in some really bad, really depressing thoughts and memories, but quickly snapped myself out of them before I could sink too far back into the depths of my head. The guard who was assigned to watch with me had fallen asleep, and I nearly face-palmed at how accurate cartoons had proven to be.

I ended up pulling out my phone shortly after I nearly got lost in my head for the third time. Holding it up high enough so I could still notice if there was movement on the monitors, I connected to the museum internet and posted on my Facebook:

_Hey, I’m sorry this is so sudden, but I just accepted an offer to study abroad in China for awhile. I had to leave right away, it was so last-minute. I think since I didn’t have any definite plans for my future, this was the best route, especially since it should be a nice change of pace. I’m really sorry I didn’t have any time for in-person goodbyes, but like I said, I had to leave quick. I promise I’ll still be on Facebook, tumblr, skype, and I’ll always have my phone on me if you ever want to call and chat. I’m not really sure how long the program lasts, but I’ll be sure to visit as soon as I can._

_[lots-a hugs], Ellie_

Just as I was about to post a similar message on my tumblr, I saw something on one of the monitors move. I put down my phone, my eyes jumping from screen-to-screen, until I finally found what it was: Jack Spicer had finally shown up.

I glanced at the snoring security guard next to me as I slid the P.A. microphone over, my finger hovering over the “talk” button. Smiling, I decided to wait a bit and watch him as he snuck around in his overly-dramatic coat from the episode “Dreamscape”, snickering as he peeked around corners and hid from the monks. He was still a ways off from the room with Maio’s Brush, so I leaned back in the chair, biting my lip and thinking.

To be honest, I almost wished I had jumped into the car with Jack as soon as he had pulled up in the parking lot. I always thought that I’d do better teaming up with him, so I could easily have just snuck out of the surveillance room and met him at the display case, joining up with him there. But how long would that last? Until he found out about the ring and possibly turned me over to Chase in hopes he’d get a spot in his next overly-elaborate evil plan? Or until I decided to wander on my own and flip-flop between sides?

No, I couldn’t do that. If I was going to be in this adventure for the long run, it’d be better to stay with the monks. I really wouldn’t be much help to the side of evil - even if my morals were a little skewed, I still had compassion that could be seen as a hinderance. Plus, the only appealing things about evil anyways were cuter guys and world domination.

‘ _If anything forces me out of the temple, I’ll consider Jack as my fall-back plan. Until then, he is my enemy._ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! The trap is set. Next chapter, after some action with Jack, we’ll get into training and some talk about the ring, but only what the characters know. It’s not a Xiaolin Showdown fanfic without some mystery, right?
> 
> I’m really sorry, but I can’t make any promises about when the next update will be. I can, however, promise that it won’t take nearly as long, but I’ve got quite a few upcoming scenes already written out (I still need to figure out how I’m going to lead from one thing to the next, but that won’t be too hard). I’m really excited to be back though, so hopefully I can get the next chapter done lickity-split and I’ll have a more regular schedule.
> 
> It’s good to be back. Like I said, I had a lot of really intense personal shit going on for awhile, and then I actually decided I was going to leave my house more often and do things, and writing this sadly suffered. But I’m doing immensely better, I’m getting more days off work and I’ve picked up a new notebook to take with me everywhere, hopefully encouraging/reminding me to write more. I plan on seeing this dumb idea of mine through to the end!

**Author's Note:**

> This is a parody! Or at least some form of it considering that I’m going to include (and have the narrator point out and poke fun at) the common things that are seen in self-insert fanfiction. That doesn’t mean this has no plot - it does, just not until later.
> 
> Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to bash on anyone who writes self-insert fanfiction. We all have at some point in our lives, and I think it’s perfectly okay. I think as long as you don’t make your insert (1) way too overpowered right off the bat, (2) without flaws whatsoever, and/or (3) immune to canon events and personalities (meaning a canon character doesn’t fall in love with you[r insert] right away), it’s not much different than having an OC - it just happens to be one that’s heavily based off of you with (if you so wish it) some appearance, age, and personality tweaks. Sometimes, self-insert fanfiction is done pretty well.
> 
> Another thing that I’m hoping is different about my insert for this tale is that there’s literally only one tweak - my age (I won’t disclose to you what it really is, but I will say there’s not a huge gap between my age and my insert’s). Other than that, she’s one-hundred-percent me from how I view myself.
> 
> Anyways, the whole point of this fanfiction is that it doesn’t take much of anything seriously - at least not the common themes that I’ve seen in self-insert fiction. Eventually it probably will once the cliches have been addressed, and that’s when the plot will come in, but that’s about it.
> 
> Also, sorry if the ending was a bit abrupt. It’s been a long time since I’ve been super excited to write something and I got a little... carried away, I guess. This chapter also went without a beta or much self-review, so I’m sorry if there’s inconsistencies and/or grammatical/spelling errors (I’d love to know if you find any, though!).
> 
> Love it? Hate it? Tips and tricks? Review, follow, ignore; the choice is yours. See you next time, when we arrive at my house and I show them the ring.


End file.
